1 00:00:53,740 --> 00:00:56,015 ...into a big airy bedroom. 2 00:00:56,060 --> 00:00:59,655 Then the sideboard turns around and turns into the bathroom. 3 00:00:59,740 --> 00:01:01,810 - So you can eat and bathe? - Course not. 4 00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:06,052 - Then what's it doing in the bathroom? - Nothing. It turns into a bathroom. 5 00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:08,608 Then another time it turns into a kitchenette. 6 00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:11,134 Another time into a fireplace. 7 00:01:11,220 --> 00:01:13,415 You can't light it but it looks awful cute. 8 00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:16,412 - What turns into a fireplace? - This gig in the corner. 9 00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:19,298 It turns around and makes one room into four rooms 10 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:23,055 so young people who haven't much money can have a four-room apartment 11 00:01:23,140 --> 00:01:25,210 for the price of a one-room apartment. 12 00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:28,019 - One room isn't an apartment. - They're called that. 13 00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:30,489 - It's the same as four rooms. - But suppose I... 14 00:01:30,580 --> 00:01:34,175 - You turn this in the corner... - Suppose I wanted to go to the fireplace 15 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,012 while you were in the kitchenette. 16 00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:38,330 You're trying to make things difficult. 17 00:01:38,420 --> 00:01:41,856 Nothing's good enough for you except a palace on Fifth Avenue. 18 00:01:41,940 --> 00:01:44,977 I give you coffee - the end of the perfect dinner, 19 00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:47,494 the beginning of the perfect day. 20 00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:02,578 And now, the moment we have all been waiting for. 21 00:02:02,660 --> 00:02:04,855 We are about to give you the result 22 00:02:04,940 --> 00:02:08,216 of the $50,000 Maxford House New Slogan contest, 23 00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:11,178 with a first prize of $25,000, 24 00:02:11,260 --> 00:02:13,171 a second prize of $5,000, 25 00:02:13,260 --> 00:02:15,854 a third prize of $2,500, 26 00:02:15,940 --> 00:02:18,534 a fourth prize of $1,500, 27 00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:20,770 a fifth prize of $1,000, 28 00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:25,138 and 95 other prizes totaling $15,000. 29 00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:28,098 Some folks are going to be delirious in a few minutes. 30 00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:30,455 As you may well imagine, 31 00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:32,929 all that sugar draws a lot of flies 32 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:36,376 and the jury here has been struggling to pick the winners 33 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:43,172 from a little snowdrift of 2,947,582 answers. 34 00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:47,731 That is a lot of answers in any language, including the Scandinavian. 35 00:02:48,860 --> 00:02:53,695 Dr. Maxford, our founder and president, is at my side. 36 00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:01,900 It will only be a matter of a few moments 37 00:03:01,980 --> 00:03:05,893 until the jury ceases wrestling and hands Dr. Maxford the verdict, 38 00:03:05,980 --> 00:03:09,495 and he will himself, in that well-known voice of his, 39 00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,571 read you the names of the winners. 40 00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:16,609 We seem to have a little contretemps, 41 00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:19,294 fox pass or what have you, ladies and gentlemen. 42 00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:20,972 But it will only be... 43 00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:23,415 - What's the matter? - The jury is deadlocked! 44 00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:25,855 - Deadlocked? - Eleven to one! 45 00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:29,535 It will only be a few moments before the jury untangles itself, 46 00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:33,374 and we will hear the happy winners' names throughout the world. 47 00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:44,449 Ahem. Just a little patience, ladies and gentlemen. 48 00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:56,857 - Can't you get it through... - What's this about a deadlock? 49 00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:59,215 - Where's the verdict? - Ask Bildocker. 50 00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:02,975 And you'll get an answer, too. If you birds had the brains of a rooster... 51 00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:07,815 I resent that. You may know about shipping but when eleven of us have agreed... 52 00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:11,256 - It'll be ten o'clock next week... - Quiet! 53 00:04:11,340 --> 00:04:15,174 ...before I give in to bunch of fat-headed, mealy-mouthed lame brains who... 54 00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:19,139 Quiet! Jumping Jehoshaphat! 55 00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:21,575 Do you realize that we're on the air? 56 00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:24,379 The whole of America's waiting for your verdict! 57 00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:27,770 120 million people are suspended from your lips. 58 00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:30,852 You're giving heart failure to the western hemisphere. 59 00:04:30,940 --> 00:04:33,613 What do you know about picking slogans anyway? 60 00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:36,851 You wouldn't know a slogan if you slipped on one. 61 00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:40,091 If you gentlemen had the combined brains of an amoeba... 62 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,330 But we're all agreed, Dr. Maxford. 63 00:04:42,420 --> 00:04:44,376 It's only Bildocker who's holding out. 64 00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:50,012 Oh, it is, is it? Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Bildocker. 65 00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:53,570 You've been getting into my hair for the past 20 years, 66 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,776 and I meant to mention it before. 67 00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:58,249 I'm going to give you four seconds... 68 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,012 No, you're not, Dr. Maxford. 69 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,490 I'm a member of this jury and I'm going to vote the way I think is right 70 00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:04,729 if it takes ten years. 71 00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:06,856 You can fire me out of shipping 72 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:11,377 but you aren't going to fire me off this jury because I don't work for you on this jury. 73 00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:14,213 I'm giving my services free to the bunch of... 74 00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:16,860 Who said anything about firing you, you lunkhead? 75 00:05:16,940 --> 00:05:19,693 All I said was that I... 76 00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:25,935 Yes? Oh, we are, are we? 77 00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:29,334 Well, that's just lovely. 78 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,731 We're going off the air, gentlemen, so just take your time. 79 00:05:33,820 --> 00:05:36,015 You can stay here till next Wednesday. 80 00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:39,012 Or you can still here till Hoboken freezes over. 81 00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:41,898 We have failed in our promise to the public. 82 00:05:41,980 --> 00:05:45,939 We have muffed the most dramatic advertising moment in commerce, 83 00:05:46,020 --> 00:05:48,329 and you've made a fathead out of me. 84 00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:52,459 The next nitwit who talks to me about a contest 85 00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:55,054 had better duck before I swing on him. 86 00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:02,614 In conclusion, gentlemen, especially you, Mr. Bildocker, 87 00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:07,899 let me say that I have seen far better heads on... umbrellas! 88 00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:13,056 And so, another broadcast slips into posterity, 89 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:17,930 as we bring to a close the 449th Maxford House programme. 90 00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:20,932 I wish I could have given you the news you wanted to hear. 91 00:06:21,020 --> 00:06:23,978 But I will conclude with what the prisoner said 92 00:06:24,060 --> 00:06:26,096 when the hangman couldn't find the rope. 93 00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:29,809 "No noose is good noose. " Ha, ha. 94 00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:33,051 This is Don Hartman, wishing you all goodnight. 95 00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:41,175 They build you up to a big finish and leave you hanging on a meat hook. 96 00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:43,820 You heard what he said. No news is good news. 97 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:46,494 - He said, "No noose is good noose. " - So? 98 00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:49,890 Oh, it doesn't matter. I wish they'd get it over with. 99 00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:54,132 You start thinking about that $25,000, or even the $5,000... 100 00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:55,892 - Or anything. - You said it. 101 00:06:55,980 --> 00:07:00,178 When you've got it right in your mitts, they leave you with your tongue hanging out. 102 00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:02,216 There ought to be a law against it. 103 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:06,134 - Did you really think you'd win it? - I haven't lost it yet. 104 00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:08,450 - How many have you lost? - I don't know. 105 00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:12,419 But every time I've lost a contest, I've doubled my chances on the next one. 106 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:16,891 It's the law of averages. Like when I lost the How Many Peanuts In The Window contest. 107 00:07:16,980 --> 00:07:20,256 - That doubled my chances... - They put boxes under the peanuts. 108 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,491 They didn't ask how many boxes under the peanuts. They said... 109 00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:26,094 - "How many peanuts are in the window?" - So I lost. 110 00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:29,695 That doubled my chances on the You Fill In The Missing Words contest. 111 00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:31,771 - But you lost that one too. - Fine. 112 00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:35,614 - I was eight to one in the limerick contest. - But you didn't win it, Jimmy! 113 00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,656 That's what makes it a cinch this time. 114 00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:39,651 Can't you see it over there in lights? 115 00:07:39,740 --> 00:07:41,970 The guy swallows his coffee, and it says, 116 00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:46,178 "If you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk. " 117 00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:49,138 - That's some slogan. - Mm-hm. 118 00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:51,893 Do you get the point? Do you understand what it means? 119 00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:53,891 - Yes... - What do you mean, yes? 120 00:07:53,980 --> 00:07:57,814 It's clear as crystal. "It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk. " 121 00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:03,656 If you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee that keeps you awake, it's the bunk. 122 00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:07,813 - The bunk when you don't sleep! - I know! I've heard it a thousand times! 123 00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:10,733 - I just don't understand it. - Maybe you don't try to. 124 00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:14,529 - Maybe I don't. - A kid of two could understand that. 125 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:18,693 This Viennese doctor says that whole idea's just a superstition, 126 00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:21,897 that instead of keeping you awake, coffee makes you sleep. 127 00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:25,609 - It's simple. Coffee makes you sleep. - It doesn't make me sleep. 128 00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:28,817 - He's a Viennese doctor! - Coffee keeps you awake! 129 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:33,052 Why are you so pig-headed about it? I'm not trying to contradict you... 130 00:08:33,140 --> 00:08:36,576 It's the new scientific theory. It's the basis of my slogan. 131 00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:40,414 People who think coffee keeps them awake are nervous wrecks anyway 132 00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,058 so why blame it on the coffee? 133 00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:46,930 So I say, "If you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk. " 134 00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:49,056 - Do you get it? - I guess so. 135 00:08:49,140 --> 00:08:53,895 - You guess so. What does it mean? - It's the bunk. 136 00:08:53,980 --> 00:08:57,495 - Yes, but do you get the play on words? - You don't need a play on words. 137 00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:01,698 Any time anybody says coffee makes you sleep, it's bunk. 138 00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:05,170 Don't you understand? It's funny. People are going to laugh. 139 00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:09,014 It means it isn't the coffee that keeps you awake, it's the bed. 140 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:11,739 - With me it's the coffee. - Oh... 141 00:09:11,820 --> 00:09:15,051 I want you to win it. I'm just as anxious as you are. 142 00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:19,213 And when you lose this one, think how much better your chances will be on the next. 143 00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:24,169 Fine chance I've got of winning anything if everybody says coffee keeps you awake. 144 00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:27,775 Let's drink a gallon of coffee and see who sleeps the longest. 145 00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:30,010 - Oh, shut up. - Jimmy! 146 00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,455 Jimmy! 147 00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:36,613 Yes, ma'am. 148 00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,895 Mr. Zimmerman says will you not talk so loud? 149 00:09:38,980 --> 00:09:42,689 - He's trying to go to sleep. - Tell him to drink a cup of coffee. 150 00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:45,578 And don't take cold up there. Is Betty warm enough? 151 00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:49,369 - Yes, thank you, Mrs. MacDonald. - All right, dear. 152 00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:55,532 I'd like you just as much if you didn't win the old contest. 153 00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,929 - That's because you're a sap. - Maybe I am. 154 00:09:58,020 --> 00:10:01,376 But if I am I'm glad of it. You know how we feel about each other. 155 00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:03,610 - Nix. - It's true, isn't it? 156 00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:06,692 - You can't say I'm being forward. - Not much. 157 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:11,739 I'm not. Time is slipping by and we're not getting any younger. 158 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,412 Nix. 159 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,331 Two can live as cheaply as one. 160 00:10:15,420 --> 00:10:18,218 Who wants to live cheaply? Cut it out, will you? 161 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,532 What would you do if you won the $25,000? 162 00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:25,531 Stick it in the bank. 163 00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:28,214 Wouldn't you even buy a little ring or something? 164 00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:30,973 - I don't like rings on a man. - Oh, you. 165 00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:35,372 What's the use of talking about it? You know I'd spend it on you and mum. 166 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:38,179 I'd get you a new shiny car and a swell apartment. 167 00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:42,572 Maybe one of those little dream houses in the suburbs, some hired help. 168 00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:46,778 Maybe a trip to Europe. Maybe the Grand Canyon would be better nowadays. 169 00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:49,613 - We'd be happy all right. - We could be happy anyway. 170 00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:52,498 Everything that means happiness costs money. 171 00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:55,378 How much was your dad making when he married your mom? 172 00:10:55,460 --> 00:10:57,371 - 18 bucks a week. - Well? 173 00:10:57,460 --> 00:10:59,815 You think that proves something? 174 00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:02,539 She's never been to the country for more than a day. 175 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,497 Never had any nice furniture. 176 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:09,415 The dream of her life is a Davenport that turns into a double bed at night-time. 177 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:12,890 She's never had a nice dress except those she made herself. 178 00:11:12,980 --> 00:11:16,370 I wore the old man's stuff cut down until I got my first job 179 00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:20,453 and he was worn out at 48 and croaked because he couldn't afford a doctor. 180 00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:22,496 Where do you get that $18 a week stuff? 181 00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:25,219 I earn $18 and you earn $22 and that's $40. 182 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:28,576 Sure and you've got your ma and I've got mine. 183 00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:32,653 You get a kid and you have to stop work and we're right back at the $22 again. 184 00:11:32,740 --> 00:11:36,449 Except then there's you and the kid and the two old ladies and me. 185 00:11:36,540 --> 00:11:38,451 - But Jimmy... - Nix, honey. 186 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:41,008 They didn't give you wrists and hands like that 187 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:43,898 to spoil in a washtub for a poor sap like me. 188 00:11:43,980 --> 00:11:46,619 - But Jimmy... - You gotta look out for yourself. 189 00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:50,488 You gotta see the main chance and grab it, the chance of plenty of money. 190 00:11:50,580 --> 00:11:54,016 Men look out for themselves. They think about nothing but money. 191 00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:59,094 A girl's got to do the same instead of fooling away her time on a guy like me. 192 00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:02,411 - Unless he crashes through. - You make me tired. 193 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,934 - Then go to bed. - That's a nice thing to say. 194 00:12:05,020 --> 00:12:06,692 Invite a girl over and yell at her. 195 00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:10,455 If I wanted to be insulted, I could have gone out with the credit manager. 196 00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:13,293 - Who's stopping you? - Thank you, Mr. MacDonald. 197 00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:16,372 - It's nice to know where you stand. - I'm sorry. 198 00:12:16,460 --> 00:12:20,738 Maybe I will go out with the credit manager. Good night. 199 00:12:24,220 --> 00:12:27,178 - Wait and I'll help you. - I don't need any help. 200 00:12:33,660 --> 00:12:35,651 Here. 201 00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:43,376 - Kindly let go of my arm. - Why don't you watch your step? 202 00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:46,133 - Why don't you mind your own business? - Oh, shut up. 203 00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:49,451 - Why don't you shut up? - Why don't you both shut up? 204 00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:52,774 See? 205 00:13:09,420 --> 00:13:11,729 They got up there a horse yet? 206 00:13:11,820 --> 00:13:14,653 - Wait for your laugh. - Wise guy. 207 00:13:21,740 --> 00:13:24,493 - Bread and butter. - Bread and butter. 208 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,658 - Don't fall down the ladder. - I've been down it before. 209 00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:48,049 You fell down it before too. 210 00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:50,495 - Good night. - Good night. 211 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:54,368 - See you at the office. - Aren't you going to take me? 212 00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:56,928 All right. 213 00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:59,773 - Good night, Jimmy. - Good night. 214 00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:01,976 - Good night. - Good night. 215 00:14:03,220 --> 00:14:05,654 Night. 216 00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,855 - Good night, honey. - Good night, darling. 217 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,775 - Good night. - Good night. 218 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,896 Good night! 219 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:26,810 - I tell you, it makes you sleep. - OK, it makes you sleep. 220 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:30,210 And water runs uphill and dogs miaow and cats bark 221 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:35,135 and water's red-hot in the winter and freezes over in the summer. 222 00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:37,688 You're a dreamer. Just like your father. 223 00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:39,611 With him it was always automobiles 224 00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:41,850 where the wind, it scooped it up in the front 225 00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:44,500 and pushed out the back to make it go, or some such. 226 00:14:44,580 --> 00:14:46,650 There's no wind blowing out of my ideas. 227 00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:50,528 - Pretty windy. Have you got car fare? - Think so. 228 00:14:51,740 --> 00:14:53,571 Yeah. 229 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:57,938 Make a wish. What falls to the floor comes to the door. 230 00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:00,488 - All right. - There's nothing to laugh about. 231 00:15:00,580 --> 00:15:03,617 I mind the time your father, may his soul be peaceful, 232 00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:05,338 dropped a quarter down a crack, 233 00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:09,333 and it wasn't an hour till a near-sighted man gave him a five-dollar gold piece 234 00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:11,456 instead of a nickel in paying his fare. 235 00:15:12,380 --> 00:15:15,452 - We went to Coney that night. - What was wrong with Pa's eyes? 236 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,451 He was looking somewhere else. 237 00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:20,134 There was nothing the matter with your father. 238 00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:22,370 He was a fine-looking conductor. 239 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,530 - He was. - You'd seem a shrimp beside him. 240 00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:27,009 - I would. - Don't say anything against him. 241 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,216 I'm not saying anything against him, Mum. 242 00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,814 Well, watch your step. 243 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:35,130 - Jimmy. - Yes'm? 244 00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:37,290 There's money in your cup. 245 00:15:58,420 --> 00:16:00,490 So the sucker says, "Is Mr. Fish there?" 246 00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:04,209 And the guy says, "Which one do you want? This is the New York Aquarium. " 247 00:16:05,940 --> 00:16:09,296 The best one is, you say, "This is the Edison Company. 248 00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:13,339 "Would you mind seeing if the street light's burning in front of your house?" 249 00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:15,980 And when the poor mug says, "Yes, it is," 250 00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:18,096 you say, "Well, blow it out, will you?" 251 00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:23,415 Hello, is this the Maxford House Coffee Company? 252 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:27,129 Could you tell me if the jury's reached a verdict on the contest yet? 253 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:31,213 They haven't? Then there's still a chance for everybody, huh? 254 00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:33,291 Thanks just the same. 255 00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:39,170 I wonder what one of those suckers would do if they ever did win. 256 00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:42,218 Well, it's very easy to find out. 257 00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:45,929 All you need is a telegraph blank, some scissors and some glue. 258 00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:49,569 - Cut it in strips, do it on the blank. - Holy mackerel. 259 00:17:49,340 --> 00:17:51,649 Good afternoon, Miss Casey. 260 00:17:51,740 --> 00:17:53,651 Good morning, Mr. Waterbury. 261 00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:12,054 Good morning, John. 262 00:18:45,620 --> 00:18:48,259 Jams. It's been doing that quite a lot lately. 263 00:18:48,340 --> 00:18:52,049 - The wonder is it works at all. - Yes, sir. 264 00:18:52,140 --> 00:18:55,177 Come into my office a moment, Mr. MacDonald. 265 00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:57,892 Yes, sir. 266 00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:25,258 I've been watching you for some time, Mr. MacDonald. 267 00:19:25,340 --> 00:19:27,854 Yes, sir. It used to make me kind of nervous. 268 00:19:28,980 --> 00:19:30,891 - Not nervous any more? - No, sir. 269 00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:33,494 - Are you a drinking man, then? - Sir? 270 00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:37,129 This is part of your yesterday's work. I believe your number is 112? 271 00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:38,619 Yes, sir. 272 00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:41,737 The computing machine is almost foolproof, Mr. MacDonald, 273 00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:46,735 yet you managed to miss your total by a little matter of $11,000 on this one sheet. 274 00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:49,015 To what do you attribute that? 275 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,773 I, er... I don't know, Mr. Waterbury. 276 00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:54,294 You know simple arithmetic, don't you? 277 00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:59,329 You know the difference between addition, subtraction and possibly multiplication? 278 00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:02,059 Yes, sir. I'm pretty good at it. 279 00:20:02,140 --> 00:20:06,179 Have you troubles at home? You henpecked? Suffering from a broken heart? 280 00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:08,728 Had your teeth examined lately? 281 00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:12,210 Or are you purely and simply incapable of doing your work? 282 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,849 Well, I... I guess it's the contest, Mr. Waterbury, 283 00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:17,578 the Maxford House contest. 284 00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:19,855 I had no idea it was hurting my work. 285 00:20:19,940 --> 00:20:23,819 - How much is the prize? - The first prize is $25,000. 286 00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:25,652 Yes. 287 00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:30,052 I used to think about $25,000 too, and what I'd do with it. 288 00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:33,132 That I'd be a failure if I didn't get a hold of it. 289 00:20:33,220 --> 00:20:39,773 And then one day I realized I was never going to have $25,000. 290 00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:43,250 And then another day a little bit later, considerably later, 291 00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:45,456 I realized something else, 292 00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:49,499 something I'm imparting to you now, Mr. MacDonald. 293 00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:52,572 I'm not a failure. I'm a success. 294 00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:55,413 You see, ambition is all right if it works. 295 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:59,288 But no system could be right where only half of one per cent were successes 296 00:20:59,380 --> 00:21:01,416 and all the rest were failures. 297 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:04,378 I'm not a failure. I'm a success. 298 00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:09,853 So are you if you earn your own living and pay your bills and look the world in the eye. 299 00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:14,491 I hope you win your $25,000, Mr. MacDonald. 300 00:21:14,580 --> 00:21:18,129 But if you shouldn't happen to, don't worry about it. 301 00:21:18,220 --> 00:21:23,772 Now get the heck back to your desk and try to improve your arithmetic. 302 00:21:23,860 --> 00:21:26,499 Yes, sir, Mr. Waterbury. 303 00:21:27,980 --> 00:21:30,096 - Thank you. - It's all right. 304 00:22:07,620 --> 00:22:10,453 Wow! Oh, honey, look! 305 00:22:10,540 --> 00:22:14,419 Hey, everybody! Hey, everybody! Come here? 306 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:16,218 Get up here, honey. 307 00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:18,177 Wow! 308 00:22:18,260 --> 00:22:23,459 There comes a time in everybody's life when he's got to get up and let it rip! 309 00:22:23,540 --> 00:22:26,213 Wow! In other words, boys and girls, 310 00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:29,656 I just won the $25,000 first prize in the Maxford House contest. 311 00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:35,656 Hey, give me a phone. Boy, this is gonna be good. 312 00:22:35,740 --> 00:22:40,177 Hello? Give me Astoria 59970. This is really gonna be good. 313 00:22:45,140 --> 00:22:48,337 - Hello, is this Mrs. Schwartz? - Yes. 314 00:22:48,420 --> 00:22:50,490 This is Jimmy. Hello, Mrs. Schwartz. 315 00:22:50,580 --> 00:22:53,811 I hate to bother you but could I talk to my mom? It's important. 316 00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:56,972 Thank you. I'll let you use my phone when I get one. 317 00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:03,411 Hello, Mum? This is Jimmy. 318 00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:06,492 I'm going to tell you something. Don't be frightened. 319 00:23:06,580 --> 00:23:09,299 - You're not hurt? - Course I'm not hurt! 320 00:23:09,380 --> 00:23:13,055 Mum, would I call you up from under a streetcar? 321 00:23:13,140 --> 00:23:15,574 Mum, are you a rich woman or a poor woman? 322 00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:18,857 No, I'm not crazy with the heat, I'm just asking you a question. 323 00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:21,170 Are you a rich woman or a poor woman? 324 00:23:21,260 --> 00:23:24,457 You're all wet! I said you're all wet, Mum. 325 00:23:24,540 --> 00:23:28,135 Buy yourself anything you want. Furniture, automobiles, dresses. 326 00:23:28,220 --> 00:23:30,176 - Electric washer. - Electric washer! 327 00:23:30,260 --> 00:23:32,216 You know the one you like? It's yours. 328 00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:35,815 - The Davenport. - The one that turns into a double bed. 329 00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:40,451 It's yours, Mum. And anything else you want. All you gotta do is tell me. 330 00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:44,419 - It's gonna cost you a Davenport. - I'll tell the world I got a raise. 331 00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:47,014 - Wow, he got a raise! - Put him out of his misery. 332 00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:50,137 - Hey, the boss. - What is going on around here? 333 00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:53,417 What is this? A football game? 334 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:57,573 Quiet! I said quiet! Or there will be severe consequences. 335 00:23:57,660 --> 00:24:02,609 What are you doing on that desk? Never mind! You're fired as of this minute. 336 00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:04,850 - What's your name? - James MacDonald. 337 00:24:04,940 --> 00:24:06,692 This is my fianc�e, Miss Casey. 338 00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:09,294 Well, let that be a lesson to you. 339 00:24:11,460 --> 00:24:14,611 What is so funny about that? 340 00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:17,612 What is the meaning of this demonstration, Mr. Waterbury? 341 00:24:17,700 --> 00:24:20,453 I demand an explanation, and it had better be good. 342 00:24:20,540 --> 00:24:23,054 It is very good, sir. It appears this lad... 343 00:24:23,140 --> 00:24:25,529 What? What? What? 344 00:24:25,620 --> 00:24:27,372 Quiet! 345 00:24:27,460 --> 00:24:29,530 - Mr. Baxter. - What do you want? 346 00:24:29,620 --> 00:24:32,009 If anyone ought to be fired, it's me. 347 00:24:32,100 --> 00:24:35,456 Never mind the noble gestures. I'll decide what's what. 348 00:24:35,540 --> 00:24:37,929 Save that Rover Boy stuff for your spare time. 349 00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:41,490 See that this young man is paid off, and don't let this reoccur. 350 00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:43,491 There's a very good reason... 351 00:24:43,580 --> 00:24:46,253 - Has it anything to do with this company? - No, but... 352 00:24:46,340 --> 00:24:50,094 - Then I don't care to hear about it! - But you do care to hear about it. 353 00:24:50,180 --> 00:24:52,978 - How was that? - I say you do care to hear about it. 354 00:24:53,060 --> 00:24:55,620 You couldn't have understood what was said. 355 00:24:55,700 --> 00:24:57,975 These children are part of your family. 356 00:24:58,060 --> 00:25:00,574 Anything that happens to them happens to you. 357 00:25:00,660 --> 00:25:03,891 So if you don't care to hear, you must have misunderstood. 358 00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:05,618 What is all this? 359 00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:08,089 This young man, this minor employee of yours, 360 00:25:08,180 --> 00:25:12,173 has just won the $25,000 Maxford House New Slogan contest. 361 00:25:12,260 --> 00:25:16,617 He and he alone was chosen winner over millions of contestants. 362 00:25:16,700 --> 00:25:20,136 And I say that is reason enough for rejoicing. 363 00:25:20,220 --> 00:25:22,734 Well, I should say it is. 364 00:25:24,740 --> 00:25:29,973 If you'll kindly get down off my furniture, I'd like to congratulate you, Mr... 365 00:25:30,060 --> 00:25:31,812 Jimmy. 366 00:25:35,660 --> 00:25:38,458 - Well, more power to you. - Thank you, sir. 367 00:25:38,540 --> 00:25:41,532 I suppose I'll have to hire you back on a fat increase. 368 00:25:41,620 --> 00:25:44,453 I don't think that will be necessary, Mr. Baxter. 369 00:25:44,540 --> 00:25:49,170 I've always liked it here and... Oh, I guess a raise would come in handy. 370 00:25:50,820 --> 00:25:53,573 And you really won the Maxford House contest, eh? 371 00:25:53,660 --> 00:25:56,891 - That's what the telegram said. - They wanted a new slogan? 372 00:25:56,980 --> 00:25:59,733 - Yes, sir. - It's about time they changed the old one. 373 00:25:59,820 --> 00:26:02,653 What was your slogan? 374 00:26:02,740 --> 00:26:06,289 "If you don't sleep at nights, it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk. " 375 00:26:06,380 --> 00:26:10,692 Do you get it? It's a play on words. It means if you don't sleep at night... 376 00:26:10,780 --> 00:26:13,772 - But coffee keeps you awake. - No, no, no, sir. 377 00:26:13,860 --> 00:26:17,136 - This scientist... - It's a clever idea just the same. 378 00:26:17,220 --> 00:26:20,610 It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk. 379 00:26:20,700 --> 00:26:23,976 That ought to be good for the whole industry. 380 00:26:24,060 --> 00:26:26,858 Did you get any ideas for Baxter and Sons 381 00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:29,613 while you were inventing slogans for competitors? 382 00:26:29,700 --> 00:26:33,488 - We make coffee too, you know. - I certainly did, Mr. Baxter. 383 00:26:33,580 --> 00:26:37,016 I've been trying to tell them to the advertising department. 384 00:26:37,100 --> 00:26:40,092 I've been down there about a thousand times. 385 00:26:40,180 --> 00:26:42,819 You see, we don't advertise enough. 386 00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:46,495 How would you like to come and tell me a few of these ideas? 387 00:26:46,580 --> 00:26:48,536 - Yes, sir. - Oh, Jimmy. 388 00:26:48,620 --> 00:26:50,850 You can come too, my dear. 389 00:26:50,940 --> 00:26:55,377 Then I'd put out a secondary brand to catch the in-between trade. 390 00:26:55,460 --> 00:26:59,009 Say, uh... "Waterbury's. It's the berries. " 391 00:26:59,100 --> 00:27:02,172 - What do you mean, Waterbury... - Let him go on. 392 00:27:02,260 --> 00:27:05,730 Because if Baxter's is the best, we've got to charge more for it. 393 00:27:05,820 --> 00:27:09,654 We've got to have a slogan. Word of mouth is OK if you've got the right words. 394 00:27:09,740 --> 00:27:11,537 Make a note of that, Miss Pettypass. 395 00:27:11,620 --> 00:27:15,613 I tried to find a slogan that implied that Baxters was the finest of its class. 396 00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:19,739 Say... Not "The aristocrat of coffee". That's been used too much. 397 00:27:19,820 --> 00:27:22,857 But, er... say, er... 398 00:27:22,940 --> 00:27:26,410 "The blue-blood coffee. It's bred in the bean. " 399 00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:30,539 See? As if every bean in our coffee had a pedigree. 400 00:27:30,620 --> 00:27:33,612 "Baxter's Best. The blueblood coffee. " 401 00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:38,455 - "It's bred in the bean. " - "It's bred in the bean. " 402 00:27:38,540 --> 00:27:41,577 Wonderful. How about that one? 403 00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:44,538 The only trouble with it is I didn't think of it myself. 404 00:27:44,620 --> 00:27:48,135 "It's bred in the bean. " I can see it all over the nation. 405 00:27:48,220 --> 00:27:50,893 In every nook and dell. 406 00:27:50,980 --> 00:27:53,892 Jimmy, you're a genius. 407 00:27:53,980 --> 00:27:58,098 Now that you're a capitalist, I don't know how you feel about working for a living, 408 00:27:58,180 --> 00:28:00,171 but if you'd care to have an office... 409 00:28:00,260 --> 00:28:02,933 - You mean to myself? - With his name on the door? 410 00:28:03,020 --> 00:28:06,899 Naturally. And this young lady as your secretary. 411 00:28:06,980 --> 00:28:10,689 And a reasonable stipend to be determined upon later. 412 00:28:10,780 --> 00:28:13,897 I see no reason why we shouldn't shake hands on it now. 413 00:28:13,980 --> 00:28:16,778 - Go ahead, Jimmy. - Gee whizz, Mr. Baxter. 414 00:28:16,860 --> 00:28:19,090 I should say I would, and how I would! 415 00:28:19,180 --> 00:28:23,139 I suppose you'd like to have the afternoon off while we get your office ready? 416 00:28:23,220 --> 00:28:25,859 I'd certainly appreciate it, Mr. Baxter. 417 00:28:25,940 --> 00:28:28,579 - Can she come along too? - Why of course she can! 418 00:28:28,660 --> 00:28:33,688 And a little bird tells me what kind of store you're going to be visiting first. 419 00:28:33,780 --> 00:28:37,898 A little jewellery store, I'll wager, eh? 420 00:28:37,980 --> 00:28:40,016 I guess you're not far wrong. 421 00:28:40,100 --> 00:28:43,570 But first I think I'll go to Maxford House and pick up that cheque. 422 00:28:43,660 --> 00:28:46,538 Oh, yes. We'd almost forgotten about that, hadn't we? 423 00:28:46,620 --> 00:28:48,451 Almost but not quite. 424 00:28:48,540 --> 00:28:51,134 What was your Maxford House slogan again? 425 00:28:51,220 --> 00:28:53,256 "It isn't the bunk, it's the coffee. " 426 00:28:53,340 --> 00:28:55,774 No, no! "It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk. " 427 00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:58,249 Isn't that marvelous? 428 00:28:58,340 --> 00:29:01,650 "If you don't sleep at night it isn't the, uh... " 429 00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:04,937 Yes, but, "It's bred in the bean. " 430 00:29:05,020 --> 00:29:07,534 - That's the one for my money. - Functional. 431 00:29:07,620 --> 00:29:11,613 - Precisely. - Well, Mr. Baxter, I thank you. 432 00:29:11,700 --> 00:29:14,817 I don't know what to say. 433 00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:18,051 Thank you, Mr. Jenkins. It'll be a pleasure working with you. 434 00:29:18,140 --> 00:29:21,132 Thank you, Mr. Waterbury, and thank you, Mr. Babcock, 435 00:29:21,220 --> 00:29:23,939 and thank you, Miss Pettypass and... 436 00:29:24,020 --> 00:29:25,578 And how. 437 00:29:25,660 --> 00:29:27,810 - Well, goodbye. - Goodbye. 438 00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:30,368 - Bye. - Goodbye. 439 00:29:34,420 --> 00:29:36,570 - A big future. - Immense. 440 00:29:36,660 --> 00:29:40,209 - I've had my eye on him for some time. - Huh? 441 00:29:59,580 --> 00:30:01,730 - Look, kid... - What? 442 00:30:01,820 --> 00:30:03,617 Can I talk to you? It's important. 443 00:30:03,700 --> 00:30:07,978 Can you tell me tomorrow? I've got to go to the Maxford House and get my cheque. 444 00:30:08,060 --> 00:30:11,973 That's what I want to talk about. Harry and Dick and I... Well... 445 00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,813 - Well, what? - It's like this. You see, we... 446 00:30:14,900 --> 00:30:16,811 - Oh, MacDonald. - Yes, sir? 447 00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:20,529 Was that "It's bred in the bean," or just plain "Bred in the bean"? 448 00:30:20,620 --> 00:30:24,659 "It's. " Just "Bred in the bean" might sound like bread, like bread and butter. 449 00:30:24,740 --> 00:30:28,016 - Naturally. I don't know why I didn't realize. - Is that all, sir? 450 00:30:28,100 --> 00:30:32,059 Yes. Have a nice time and don't spend all your money in one place. 451 00:30:32,140 --> 00:30:35,894 - Thank you, sir. Goodbye. - Goodbye. 452 00:30:35,980 --> 00:30:38,619 Great mind. 453 00:30:38,700 --> 00:30:42,136 Did you wish to speak to me, Darcy? 454 00:30:42,220 --> 00:30:46,816 Who, me? Oh, no, sir. I was just watching them go out. 455 00:30:46,900 --> 00:30:49,653 Well, it's been quite an exciting day, hasn't it? 456 00:30:51,460 --> 00:30:54,452 Yeah, and it ain't even over yet. 457 00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:59,809 I said, "You can stay here till Hoboken freezes over. " 458 00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:03,131 - I should have fired all of them. - I was mortified. 459 00:31:03,220 --> 00:31:07,008 The biggest moment in commercial annals muffed by a gang of horse whistlers 460 00:31:07,100 --> 00:31:10,297 who wouldn't know a slogan from a poke in the eye with a stick. 461 00:31:10,380 --> 00:31:13,850 - I thought I'd die of embarrassment. - I wish they'd died of lockjaw. 462 00:31:13,940 --> 00:31:16,010 What good are these contests, anyway? 463 00:31:16,100 --> 00:31:20,173 They disrupt the entire organization, they make you millions of enemies, 464 00:31:20,260 --> 00:31:23,377 and all they prove is that you're making too much money, 465 00:31:23,460 --> 00:31:25,928 since you can afford to toss it to some saphead 466 00:31:26,020 --> 00:31:29,410 who probably never had a cup of your coffee but lives on goats' milk. 467 00:31:29,500 --> 00:31:32,651 - Have they reached a verdict yet? - I don't know or care. 468 00:31:32,740 --> 00:31:34,970 If they hold off until our next broadcast... 469 00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:38,973 No, no! That would be the intelligent thing to do. 470 00:31:39,060 --> 00:31:42,257 That would be useful to the company that clothes and feeds them 471 00:31:42,340 --> 00:31:46,492 and sends their children to college so they can be dumbbells like their parents. 472 00:31:50,340 --> 00:31:53,412 - What do you want? - The contest winner is here. 473 00:31:53,500 --> 00:31:56,776 - The contest winner? - Yes, sir. 474 00:31:56,860 --> 00:32:00,535 How do you like that? First they bottle up the biggest scoop of the year, 475 00:32:00,620 --> 00:32:03,088 then when they get good and ready they... 476 00:32:04,780 --> 00:32:07,169 All right, send him in. 477 00:32:07,260 --> 00:32:08,932 - You can go in now. - Thanks. 478 00:32:09,020 --> 00:32:11,580 - I guess I'd better wait here. - Come on in. 479 00:32:11,660 --> 00:32:14,732 No, maybe you had better wait here. We're a little excited. 480 00:32:14,820 --> 00:32:17,892 - You would be. Congratulations. - Thanks. I mean, for him. 481 00:32:17,980 --> 00:32:19,857 For both of us. 482 00:32:19,940 --> 00:32:21,578 Well... 483 00:32:21,660 --> 00:32:24,094 Of all the confounded... 484 00:32:24,180 --> 00:32:25,898 Come in! 485 00:32:28,580 --> 00:32:33,574 How do you do? I suppose I have the honor of addressing Dr. Maxford, I presume? 486 00:32:33,660 --> 00:32:36,015 Right. And this is Don Hartman, my announcer. 487 00:32:36,100 --> 00:32:39,536 Well, Mr. Hartman, it certainly is a pleasure to meet you. 488 00:32:39,620 --> 00:32:41,850 I've enjoyed your personality on the air. 489 00:32:41,940 --> 00:32:44,090 - Congratulations to you. - Thank you. 490 00:32:44,180 --> 00:32:46,614 Here's the telegram, Mr. Maxford... Dr. Maxford. 491 00:32:46,700 --> 00:32:48,099 Yes, yes, yes. 492 00:32:48,180 --> 00:32:52,253 Oh, yes. "Great pleasure in informing you... $25,000. 493 00:32:52,340 --> 00:32:54,535 "Kindly call and pick up your cheque. " 494 00:32:54,620 --> 00:32:56,850 Bildocker has a great sense of the dramatic. 495 00:32:56,940 --> 00:32:59,613 You aren't by any chance a coffee drinker, are you? 496 00:32:59,700 --> 00:33:02,453 - Yes, I certainly am. - That's surprising. 497 00:33:02,540 --> 00:33:04,770 Do you, by any chance, drink my coffee? 498 00:33:04,860 --> 00:33:08,409 - No, sir, you see, I... - Yes, that sounds more natural. 499 00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:11,378 - But I could easily change. - That won't be necessary. 500 00:33:11,460 --> 00:33:15,658 I wouldn't want anybody to think I had any base commercial motives. 501 00:33:15,740 --> 00:33:18,698 I just give money away because I can't sleep at night. 502 00:33:18,780 --> 00:33:22,375 - I have a guilty conscience. - That's my slogan. The one I won with. 503 00:33:22,460 --> 00:33:25,736 - I guess you know all about that. - A guilty conscience, eh? 504 00:33:25,820 --> 00:33:29,335 I can see that my money is well spent. That's a great slogan. 505 00:33:29,420 --> 00:33:33,333 No, sir. "If you can't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk. " 506 00:33:33,420 --> 00:33:35,411 - I beg your pardon? - It's a pun. 507 00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:38,810 - It certainly is. It's great. - Thank you. 508 00:33:38,900 --> 00:33:42,017 I can hardly wait to give you my money. 509 00:33:44,460 --> 00:33:45,939 Bring me that contest cheque. 510 00:33:46,020 --> 00:33:49,251 I don't know if you've ever had anything like this happen to you, 511 00:33:49,340 --> 00:33:53,128 but to be poor and unknown one minute and on top of the world the next, 512 00:33:53,220 --> 00:33:55,336 that's a feeling nobody can take from me. 513 00:33:55,420 --> 00:33:57,615 - Well, I... - To know I won this contest 514 00:33:57,700 --> 00:34:02,216 because I thought up the best slogan means more to me that anything on earth. 515 00:34:02,300 --> 00:34:03,972 - I'll tell you why. - If you... 516 00:34:04,060 --> 00:34:07,735 I used to think maybe I had good ideas and was gonna get somewhere, 517 00:34:07,820 --> 00:34:13,053 but now I know it, and that's what I want to thank you for, more than the money. 518 00:34:13,140 --> 00:34:16,052 - Did you want the $25,000 one? - That's right. 519 00:34:16,140 --> 00:34:20,691 - When they choose a winner? - They didn't bother to inform me. 520 00:34:20,780 --> 00:34:23,658 James MacDonald. Is that Mac or Mc? 521 00:34:23,740 --> 00:34:25,492 It's Mac, sir. 522 00:34:25,580 --> 00:34:28,731 My, uh... My grandmother was Scottish. 523 00:34:28,820 --> 00:34:31,209 Mine was Lithuanian. 524 00:34:31,300 --> 00:34:33,256 Here you are, young man. 525 00:34:33,340 --> 00:34:37,094 It is customary under these circumstances to have photographers present, 526 00:34:37,180 --> 00:34:40,809 a couple of reporters and even newsreels and broadcasting machinery. 527 00:34:40,900 --> 00:34:45,371 But since we do everything here on a very high, non-commercial plain, 528 00:34:45,460 --> 00:34:49,772 I merely take pleasure in giving you this small cheque, Mr. MacDonald. 529 00:34:49,860 --> 00:34:53,330 - That's all there is to it. - Thank you, Dr. Maxford. 530 00:34:53,420 --> 00:34:56,696 - I don't know how I can find words... - Never mind about them. 531 00:34:56,780 --> 00:34:59,578 Just goodbye and good luck. 532 00:34:59,660 --> 00:35:01,776 Oh, boy. 533 00:35:01,860 --> 00:35:05,648 - Now get me Bildocker! - Yes, sir. 534 00:35:15,100 --> 00:35:17,409 Oh, gee! 535 00:35:20,180 --> 00:35:22,853 - She's a little bit excited. - Yes. 536 00:35:22,940 --> 00:35:25,374 He's as cool as ice. 537 00:35:27,860 --> 00:35:30,090 - Well, goodbye. - Goodbye. 538 00:35:30,180 --> 00:35:32,853 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 539 00:35:32,940 --> 00:35:34,896 Goodbye. 540 00:35:39,060 --> 00:35:42,132 - Yes? - Mr. Bildocker isn't in his office. 541 00:35:42,220 --> 00:35:46,259 Well, why not? Where is he? Down in the lobby playing marble games? 542 00:35:46,340 --> 00:35:49,457 Find him and tell him... Never mind. I'll tell him myself. 543 00:35:49,540 --> 00:35:52,259 "It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk"! 544 00:35:54,740 --> 00:35:57,652 Oh, isn't it beautiful, Jimmy? 545 00:35:57,740 --> 00:36:01,494 - Holy smoke, I should say it is. - This is a trifle on the large side. 546 00:36:01,580 --> 00:36:05,255 Now, here is a stone of more practical dimensions. 547 00:36:05,340 --> 00:36:08,173 Fiery little devil, isn't it? 548 00:36:08,260 --> 00:36:10,854 Does the magnifying glass go with it? 549 00:36:10,940 --> 00:36:14,216 It's up to you. I was only trying to be helpful, that's all. 550 00:36:14,300 --> 00:36:16,973 It's immaterial to me how big a ring you... look at. 551 00:36:17,060 --> 00:36:19,654 Now how about... Just a minute. 552 00:36:20,780 --> 00:36:22,771 Fresh guy. 553 00:36:23,980 --> 00:36:26,448 What do you think of this, for instance? 554 00:36:26,540 --> 00:36:29,213 - How much is it? - $12,000. 555 00:36:29,300 --> 00:36:32,451 - I wouldn't care to spend that much. - You wouldn't? 556 00:36:32,540 --> 00:36:35,259 - No. But I could if I felt like it. - You could? 557 00:36:35,340 --> 00:36:39,731 Oh. Well, that puts everything on an entirely different basis. 558 00:36:39,820 --> 00:36:42,334 - Let me see. - I'm in love with this one. 559 00:36:42,420 --> 00:36:44,809 Oh. Do you think it's showy enough? 560 00:36:44,900 --> 00:36:47,539 - I wouldn't want it to be showy. - Oh, yes. 561 00:36:47,620 --> 00:36:50,134 There's no denying it's a friendly little piece. 562 00:36:50,220 --> 00:36:55,055 - Well, then, I guess we'll take it. - Yes, sir. 563 00:36:55,140 --> 00:36:56,539 Oh, Jimmy! 564 00:36:56,620 --> 00:36:59,578 - I haven't got any cash with me but... - Ah. 565 00:36:59,660 --> 00:37:02,697 - But I've got a cheque here. - Uh-huh. May I see it, please? 566 00:37:02,780 --> 00:37:04,293 Sure. 567 00:37:08,620 --> 00:37:12,090 Well, well. Mr. Schmidt! Step this way immediately, please. 568 00:37:12,180 --> 00:37:14,648 - Well, well. - I won the Maxford House contest. 569 00:37:14,740 --> 00:37:17,971 - Isn't it wonderful? - Well, I should say it is. 570 00:37:18,060 --> 00:37:21,689 A thousand congratulations. Uh... 25,000 congratulations. 571 00:37:21,780 --> 00:37:23,975 For heaven's sakes. Mr. Schmidt! 572 00:37:24,060 --> 00:37:27,097 Yes, yes, Mr. Hillbeiner, I'll be there presently. 573 00:37:27,180 --> 00:37:30,297 - Kindly cut a groove, will you? - Sir. 574 00:37:30,380 --> 00:37:33,213 Hillbeiner has been drinking again. 575 00:37:35,020 --> 00:37:37,739 Yes? 576 00:37:37,820 --> 00:37:42,052 Shindel Brothers wants to know if that $25,000 cheque of yours is good. 577 00:37:42,140 --> 00:37:46,452 Good? Tell them I'll match mine against theirs any day and give them six to four. 578 00:37:46,540 --> 00:37:49,976 - Yes, sir. - Is it good? 579 00:37:50,060 --> 00:37:52,255 The Davenola. Now watch closely. 580 00:37:52,340 --> 00:37:56,538 I merely remove two cushions, place my finger on the button marked "Night", 581 00:37:56,620 --> 00:37:58,895 and with one easy push of the finger, 582 00:37:58,980 --> 00:38:00,891 we have a double bed, 583 00:38:00,980 --> 00:38:05,178 a radio, an ashtray for those who smoke in bed, a reading lamp for the reader, 584 00:38:05,260 --> 00:38:07,774 a telephone and many other accessories. 585 00:38:07,860 --> 00:38:11,569 Pausing merely to slip a pillow slip over the day cushion... 586 00:38:13,540 --> 00:38:15,178 we complete the metamorphosis. 587 00:38:15,260 --> 00:38:18,058 Everything under fingertip control throughout. 588 00:38:18,140 --> 00:38:21,769 There is no limit to man's ingenuity. 589 00:38:22,820 --> 00:38:25,698 - Isn't that wonderful? - Comes the morrow. 590 00:38:28,180 --> 00:38:30,535 A flick of the wrist... 591 00:38:32,700 --> 00:38:34,691 a thorough airing... 592 00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:44,734 a gentle pressure on the button marked "Day"... 593 00:38:45,980 --> 00:38:48,050 et voil�, as the French would say, 594 00:38:48,140 --> 00:38:51,371 ready for breakfast, a rousing book or a gentle game of bridge. 595 00:38:51,460 --> 00:38:54,099 The price, 198.50 plus tax. 596 00:38:54,180 --> 00:38:56,774 We'll take it. 597 00:38:58,580 --> 00:39:00,730 - What a bargain you're getting. - Pardon? 598 00:39:00,820 --> 00:39:04,654 I'm Mr. Shindel, Mr. MacDonald. Congratulations. Here's your cheque. 599 00:39:04,740 --> 00:39:07,698 - And what a cheque. - Thanks. How soon can you send it? 600 00:39:07,780 --> 00:39:10,248 It's there. Make that a special, Hillbeiner. 601 00:39:10,340 --> 00:39:13,537 - Would your mother like one? - No. We haven't got room. 602 00:39:13,620 --> 00:39:16,054 We got to get everybody something. 603 00:39:16,140 --> 00:39:18,290 Mama's been wanting a new iron. 604 00:39:18,380 --> 00:39:20,177 - She's got it. - Have you got irons? 605 00:39:20,260 --> 00:39:23,218 Have we got irons? Huh! They do everything but sing. 606 00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:26,053 We gotta get something for Mrs. Schwartz, 607 00:39:26,140 --> 00:39:28,415 Sophie, Mrs. Zimmerman, the Casey kids... 608 00:39:28,500 --> 00:39:30,730 Aren't you afraid of spending too much? 609 00:39:30,820 --> 00:39:32,731 - The Finnegans. - Patrolman Murphy. 610 00:39:32,820 --> 00:39:34,697 - Tony Mozepo. - And Mr. Rosenblatt. 611 00:39:34,780 --> 00:39:38,329 We better just work up one side of the street and down the other. 612 00:39:38,420 --> 00:39:40,456 Oh, Jimmy! 613 00:39:50,780 --> 00:39:54,056 I don't like to take all this without paying for it, Mr. Shindel. 614 00:39:54,140 --> 00:39:57,291 Nonsense. We know an honest man when we see one, don't we, boys? 615 00:39:57,380 --> 00:39:58,335 Indeed! 616 00:39:58,420 --> 00:40:01,218 Why don't you take this cheque and give me the change? 617 00:40:01,300 --> 00:40:03,450 We should have change for such a cheque? 618 00:40:03,540 --> 00:40:05,496 Excuse me. 619 00:40:05,580 --> 00:40:07,855 - What a bargain. - Thank you. 620 00:40:07,940 --> 00:40:10,852 I'll bring you a cheque as soon as I put this in the bank. 621 00:40:10,940 --> 00:40:14,455 Who's in a hurry? Drop in any time. Drop in tomorrow. 622 00:40:14,540 --> 00:40:17,134 - Here are the flowers. - Thank you. 623 00:40:17,220 --> 00:40:20,337 A little souvenir. Don't forget to call again, Mr. MacDonald. 624 00:40:20,420 --> 00:40:22,729 - No, sir, I won't. - Goodbye. 625 00:40:22,820 --> 00:40:24,776 Goodbye, Mr. Shindel. 626 00:40:30,140 --> 00:40:34,258 - Goodbye, Mr. Schmidt! - Goodbye, Mr. MacDonald. 627 00:40:34,340 --> 00:40:36,570 - Goodbye Mr. Hillbeimer. - Hillbeiner. 628 00:40:36,660 --> 00:40:40,016 - Goodbye Mr. Heilbimmer. - That's close enough. It's all right. 629 00:40:40,100 --> 00:40:44,173 - Come and see us again. - Thank you. Goodbye. 630 00:40:44,260 --> 00:40:46,490 Have you got all your bundles now? 631 00:40:46,580 --> 00:40:48,377 Goodbye. 632 00:40:59,780 --> 00:41:02,248 - What a boy. - What a business. 633 00:41:03,700 --> 00:41:07,136 - Oh, I'm so happy. - I feel kind of good myself. 634 00:41:07,220 --> 00:41:10,018 Can you see the faces on everybody when we get there? 635 00:41:10,100 --> 00:41:13,172 Yeah. Like Christmas in July. 636 00:41:16,460 --> 00:41:19,258 Well, happy New Year. 637 00:41:20,460 --> 00:41:23,179 It will be a happy new year from now on. 638 00:41:23,260 --> 00:41:26,491 Everything new and clean and different. 639 00:41:26,580 --> 00:41:30,892 - Just think, Jimmy. No more worry. - That's right. 640 00:41:30,980 --> 00:41:33,972 That's the only terrible thing about being poor. 641 00:41:34,060 --> 00:41:36,893 - What kind of a house will we have? - Any kind you like. 642 00:41:36,980 --> 00:41:39,733 - How about a penthouse? - They come high, don't they? 643 00:41:39,820 --> 00:41:42,732 No, I don't think... Oh, you fool! 644 00:41:46,220 --> 00:41:50,691 - Will you love me for always? - Of course I will. 645 00:41:50,780 --> 00:41:54,216 - For always and always? - I don't know why not. 646 00:41:54,300 --> 00:41:56,575 It might be a long time. 647 00:41:56,660 --> 00:41:58,969 The longer the sweeter, baby. 648 00:42:00,220 --> 00:42:03,849 And then he says, "Mum, you're all wet. You can buy anything you want. 649 00:42:03,940 --> 00:42:08,092 "An automobile, new dresses, furniture, the Davenport, anything. " 650 00:42:08,180 --> 00:42:11,729 My Irving, he drinks too. Once in a while, a little bit. 651 00:42:11,820 --> 00:42:14,209 - Not so little. - Yes, I know. 652 00:42:14,300 --> 00:42:18,134 But Jimmy doesn't. He wouldn't take a drink unless something happened. 653 00:42:18,220 --> 00:42:20,780 - Maybe he lost his job. - He said he got a raise. 654 00:42:20,860 --> 00:42:24,648 Who's giving raises these days? 655 00:42:24,740 --> 00:42:26,537 I can't think what has happened. 656 00:42:29,020 --> 00:42:30,533 They're bringing him home. 657 00:42:30,620 --> 00:42:32,929 - Who asked you something? - No... 658 00:42:33,020 --> 00:42:35,693 Don't you worry. Maybe just a little accident. 659 00:42:35,780 --> 00:42:38,977 Maybe just a leg or a finger. 660 00:42:39,060 --> 00:42:41,893 Come here quick! Hurry up! 661 00:42:44,740 --> 00:42:47,413 - What is it? - A funeral. 662 00:42:49,780 --> 00:42:52,613 Hey, Mum, come on down. You too, Mrs. Schwartz. 663 00:42:52,700 --> 00:42:55,817 - You too, Mama! - We got presents for everybody! 664 00:42:55,900 --> 00:42:57,697 - He's drunk. - Jimmy! 665 00:42:57,780 --> 00:43:00,248 I'm all right, Mum. Come on down. 666 00:43:00,340 --> 00:43:01,739 Look! 667 00:43:01,820 --> 00:43:05,938 - Was somebody hurt? - Jimmy came home in a taxicab. 668 00:43:09,780 --> 00:43:13,455 I got a big surprise here. I wanna start with Sophie. 669 00:43:13,540 --> 00:43:15,496 Careful, now. 670 00:43:18,100 --> 00:43:20,534 - I've got a present for you, Sophie. - For me? 671 00:43:20,620 --> 00:43:22,099 Yes. Open it up. 672 00:43:35,100 --> 00:43:36,931 Oh! 673 00:43:46,740 --> 00:43:51,450 In a minute. Take it easy. Take it easy, there's something for everybody, I think. 674 00:43:52,420 --> 00:43:54,809 Mom! 675 00:43:54,900 --> 00:43:57,858 What's happened? Are you hurt? What's going on here? 676 00:43:57,940 --> 00:44:00,818 I wasn't lying to you. The Davenport is on the way. 677 00:44:00,900 --> 00:44:04,256 - Wait till you see it, Mum. - Then you did get a raise. 678 00:44:06,780 --> 00:44:08,532 Oh, glory! 679 00:44:11,980 --> 00:44:14,369 Mom! Here's one for you. 680 00:44:14,460 --> 00:44:15,859 Oh, Mom! 681 00:44:15,940 --> 00:44:19,489 Why don't you get wise to yourself? Who do you think you are anyway? 682 00:44:19,580 --> 00:44:22,413 If it's good enough for us, who are you to say... 683 00:44:22,500 --> 00:44:25,333 - It stinks. It stinks. - He stinks. 684 00:44:25,420 --> 00:44:28,856 One more crack out of you and I'll bust you right in the nose. 685 00:44:28,940 --> 00:44:32,057 - Let's see you do it. - I will, you snake-eyed... 686 00:44:32,140 --> 00:44:35,735 - Sit down before you burst a blood vessel. - Sit down, Bildocker. 687 00:44:35,820 --> 00:44:39,051 Let's talk this over in a nice friendly way. 688 00:44:39,140 --> 00:44:44,737 We think, "Maxford's. Magnificent and mellow. Just what the doctor ordered. " 689 00:44:44,820 --> 00:44:48,017 - It's brief, it's smooth, it's pungent. - It's putrid. 690 00:44:48,100 --> 00:44:52,013 - Why is it putrid, Bildocker? - Because it stinks. 691 00:44:52,100 --> 00:44:54,898 Why isn't he back? Where is he? In the barber shop? 692 00:44:54,980 --> 00:44:58,495 Never mind him. Tell him to go soak his head in a barrel. 693 00:44:58,580 --> 00:45:00,571 - Is Mr. Einbrewster there? - No, sir. 694 00:45:00,660 --> 00:45:04,494 Why? Where is everybody? Playing pool? 695 00:45:04,580 --> 00:45:06,935 - Is Mr. Grobel there? - No, sir. 696 00:45:07,020 --> 00:45:09,773 Is he having an operation? What kind of a firm is this? 697 00:45:09,860 --> 00:45:12,772 - He's in the contest room. - What do you mean? 698 00:45:12,860 --> 00:45:15,135 - The contest is over. - He's down there. 699 00:45:15,220 --> 00:45:18,815 What are they doing? Playing poker? Never mind. I'll find out myself. 700 00:45:18,900 --> 00:45:20,379 Horse feathers! 701 00:45:20,460 --> 00:45:22,974 - Don't be vulgar, Bildocker! - Or what? 702 00:45:23,060 --> 00:45:25,016 Who are you? 703 00:45:25,100 --> 00:45:28,172 Well, what are you arguing about now? 704 00:45:28,260 --> 00:45:33,698 Now, would you get back to your offices and try and sell some coffee for a change? 705 00:45:33,780 --> 00:45:37,898 Or am I being too commercial? And while I'm on that subject, 706 00:45:37,980 --> 00:45:43,612 I wanna tell you that of all the congregations of fatheads that I've ever gazed upon, 707 00:45:43,700 --> 00:45:45,656 you take the lardpail! 708 00:45:45,740 --> 00:45:49,494 So kiss each other goodbye. All except you, Bildocker. 709 00:45:49,580 --> 00:45:51,730 - What about the contest? - What about it? 710 00:45:51,820 --> 00:45:54,254 Now you've killed it, you want a postmortem? 711 00:45:54,340 --> 00:45:56,535 - Shouldn't we choose a winner? - You did. 712 00:45:56,620 --> 00:46:00,408 - We certainly did not. - You certainly did. What do you mean? 713 00:46:00,500 --> 00:46:04,971 - We haven't reached a verdict. - You certainly have reached a verdict. 714 00:46:05,060 --> 00:46:09,133 Are you trying to tell me that you haven't reached a verdict yet? 715 00:46:09,220 --> 00:46:13,293 - We have not. - Then why did you send him a telegram? 716 00:46:13,380 --> 00:46:15,655 - Send who a telegram? - McTavish! 717 00:46:15,740 --> 00:46:20,814 - We didn't send... Who's McTavish? - You certainly did send a telegram! 718 00:46:20,900 --> 00:46:23,289 We certainly did not send a telegram. 719 00:46:23,380 --> 00:46:27,931 You didn't? Well, then who... who...? Who...? 720 00:46:28,020 --> 00:46:29,976 Jumping Jerusalem! 721 00:46:38,660 --> 00:46:40,616 - Get my lawyer! - Which one? 722 00:46:40,700 --> 00:46:43,009 Schubel, Snivel, Abercrombie and Snitch! 723 00:46:43,100 --> 00:46:45,216 Quiet! Get me Shindel Bros! 724 00:46:45,300 --> 00:46:49,213 We have to keep cool and collected! Collected! Holy moley! 725 00:46:49,300 --> 00:46:51,689 - Bank the call - Bank the call? 726 00:46:51,780 --> 00:46:55,568 Call the bank! What's the matter with you? Holy mackerel! 727 00:46:57,260 --> 00:46:59,171 What? Give me a hat. 728 00:46:59,260 --> 00:47:03,731 - Get me Minsk, Minsk, Binsk and Binsk. - What kind of a hat, Mr. Shindel? 729 00:47:03,820 --> 00:47:05,776 - A hat! - Yes, sir. 730 00:47:08,460 --> 00:47:09,813 Stop! 731 00:47:12,740 --> 00:47:14,093 Stop! 732 00:47:14,180 --> 00:47:16,774 No, go! We'll go with you! 733 00:47:24,980 --> 00:47:28,370 Jimmy! We're running low. Get another load. 734 00:47:28,460 --> 00:47:30,815 Mary? Where's Mary? All right, Mary. 735 00:47:32,940 --> 00:47:35,215 Marsha? Marsha, there you are. 736 00:47:35,300 --> 00:47:37,894 Nobody's been forgotten. Be careful. 737 00:47:58,740 --> 00:48:02,050 - You forgot to get a present for yourself. - What? 738 00:48:02,140 --> 00:48:06,975 - You forgot to get a present for yourself. - I don't need one, I've got you. 739 00:48:14,260 --> 00:48:16,615 - It's a big fish. - No... 740 00:48:19,780 --> 00:48:22,089 There he is! Come on, grab him! 741 00:48:22,180 --> 00:48:24,136 Look, Jimmy! 742 00:48:24,220 --> 00:48:27,178 - Here's your Davenport, mom. - Wait till you see it! 743 00:48:27,260 --> 00:48:29,615 Come on, get him! Take him away! 744 00:48:31,900 --> 00:48:33,856 Hey, you! What...? 745 00:48:35,220 --> 00:48:37,654 What's the idea, busting up my plane? 746 00:48:37,740 --> 00:48:40,891 - It's my plane. - Jimmy MacDonald gave it to me! 747 00:48:40,980 --> 00:48:44,450 - Yeah? When I get through with him... - What's going on? 748 00:48:44,540 --> 00:48:48,931 - Officer, arrest all these people. - Who do you think you are? Hitler? 749 00:48:49,020 --> 00:48:51,215 Listen, you... 750 00:48:51,300 --> 00:48:55,179 - You listen to me, baby... - Well, can't you do something? 751 00:48:55,260 --> 00:48:57,216 Say, er, hey... 752 00:48:58,100 --> 00:49:01,137 - No! No! - This belongs to Shindel Brothers. 753 00:49:01,220 --> 00:49:04,053 Come and help me! 754 00:49:04,140 --> 00:49:06,051 - No! No! - Be sensible, girl. 755 00:49:06,140 --> 00:49:08,495 - What are you doing? - This is stolen. 756 00:49:08,580 --> 00:49:10,377 Oh, it is, is it? 757 00:49:18,380 --> 00:49:21,690 He who laughs last lasts laughs! 758 00:49:33,140 --> 00:49:37,179 Everything is stolen, down to the last pogo stick - everything. 759 00:49:40,460 --> 00:49:43,054 Ah, you see? "Shindel Brothers. Toy Land. " 760 00:49:43,140 --> 00:49:46,257 He comes into my store with a phony cheque and... 761 00:49:46,340 --> 00:49:49,218 Who came into your store with a phony cheque? 762 00:49:49,300 --> 00:49:51,894 He ain't even got the decency to run away! Lowlife. 763 00:49:51,980 --> 00:49:54,540 - Listen you... - Officer, arrest him. 764 00:49:54,620 --> 00:49:56,975 - You starting that again? - What? 765 00:49:57,060 --> 00:50:00,939 I've known that kid since he was knee-high to a cockroach. 766 00:50:01,020 --> 00:50:04,854 - What's he supposed to have done? - Supposed to have done? 767 00:50:04,940 --> 00:50:07,613 He's supposed to have given me a sour cheque, 768 00:50:07,700 --> 00:50:10,851 then he's supposed to have bought a diamond ring - 769 00:50:10,940 --> 00:50:14,216 which I suppose I don't see there - and a nice fur coat. 770 00:50:14,300 --> 00:50:18,339 Then he takes half the toys, waves the rubber cheque, and leaves. 771 00:50:18,420 --> 00:50:20,456 Who says it's a rubber cheque? 772 00:50:20,540 --> 00:50:22,610 Dr. Maxford of Maxford House. 773 00:50:22,700 --> 00:50:25,373 Dr. Maxford gave me the cheque himself. 774 00:50:25,460 --> 00:50:27,735 - Mr. Swindle... - Shindel. 775 00:50:27,820 --> 00:50:32,098 I know this boy since his poppa and momma wasn't even married yet. 776 00:50:32,180 --> 00:50:34,694 The whole family is a little bit crazy. 777 00:50:34,780 --> 00:50:39,012 - $25,000- can you imagine? - A dreamer. 778 00:50:39,100 --> 00:50:41,773 - Mrs. Schwartz, Mr. Zimmerman... - Let me handle this. 779 00:50:41,860 --> 00:50:43,339 He gave me a cheque. 780 00:50:43,420 --> 00:50:45,536 - If he says he did... ... then he did. 781 00:50:45,620 --> 00:50:47,815 Just go home and think it all over. 782 00:50:47,900 --> 00:50:51,336 I'll break you in so many pieces... You're all witnesses! 783 00:50:51,420 --> 00:50:55,174 - Trying to imitate an officer? - Who's imitating anybody? 784 00:51:04,020 --> 00:51:06,580 Officer! Officer, arrest this man! 785 00:51:06,660 --> 00:51:10,619 - That's been tried. - There's been some sort of mix-up here... 786 00:51:10,700 --> 00:51:13,498 You have the effrontery even to speak to me? 787 00:51:13,580 --> 00:51:17,414 What? I just want you to tell them that you gave me a cheque. 788 00:51:17,500 --> 00:51:20,253 - What cheque? - The one in your office. 789 00:51:20,340 --> 00:51:22,649 - Let me see it. - Certainly. 790 00:51:25,020 --> 00:51:28,410 Oh, that cheque. Boy, do I feel better! 791 00:51:28,500 --> 00:51:31,856 - Hey, you're destroying the evidence. - Who are you? 792 00:51:31,940 --> 00:51:34,977 - Shindel! - Officer, arrest these people! 793 00:51:35,060 --> 00:51:38,450 - Listen, Mussolini... - If there's something wrong 794 00:51:38,540 --> 00:51:40,735 what did you give me the cheque for? 795 00:51:40,820 --> 00:51:44,654 You know perfectly well, in my life I never heard of you! 796 00:51:44,740 --> 00:51:48,130 - You didn't give me a cheque? - That was by mistake. 797 00:51:48,220 --> 00:51:51,178 I was suspicious of you as soon as I saw you. 798 00:51:51,260 --> 00:51:53,216 You mean I didn't win? 799 00:51:53,300 --> 00:51:55,814 You know perfectly well you didn't win! 800 00:51:55,900 --> 00:51:59,210 - But... - He's entirely responsible, I see it all. 801 00:51:59,300 --> 00:52:01,609 I know how big firms work, God forbid. 802 00:52:01,700 --> 00:52:05,375 This is an honest boy. I knew it the minute I looked at him. 803 00:52:05,460 --> 00:52:10,739 You gave him that cheque, you numbskull. I should take back the merchandise I sold. 804 00:52:10,820 --> 00:52:15,894 Carry that Davenport upstairs for the lady. A present from Dr. Maxford. 805 00:52:15,980 --> 00:52:20,974 And buy the children more ice cream - they'll enjoy my toys much better. 806 00:52:21,060 --> 00:52:25,099 - Dr. Maxford is paying. - I'll see you in Hoboken before I pay! 807 00:52:25,820 --> 00:52:30,416 And I'll see you in court, and you'll pay for everything. With costs! 808 00:52:30,500 --> 00:52:33,458 - In a pig's nose! - Pigs or no pigs. 809 00:52:33,540 --> 00:52:36,612 And another thing... 810 00:52:37,940 --> 00:52:39,931 Oh, you will, will you? 811 00:52:40,980 --> 00:52:43,255 Don't take the good ones. 812 00:52:46,380 --> 00:52:50,692 It doesn't matter, honey. You can't lose anything you never had. 813 00:52:53,940 --> 00:52:57,819 I don't want his old ring or... or his old skunk. 814 00:52:58,820 --> 00:53:01,812 What I can't figure is who sent that telegram. 815 00:53:08,140 --> 00:53:10,131 Hello, Jimmy. Hello, Betty. 816 00:53:10,220 --> 00:53:12,176 - Hello. - Hello. 817 00:53:14,780 --> 00:53:19,251 - What's that? - Is this the Davenport your ma wanted? 818 00:53:19,340 --> 00:53:23,333 The crank fits on here and when you turn it it... 819 00:53:23,420 --> 00:53:27,698 Makes into a full-size double bed at night. Guy said it works swell. 820 00:53:27,780 --> 00:53:29,736 What did you go get that for? 821 00:53:29,820 --> 00:53:34,974 Well, we kinda hoped that it might make up for the... phony telegram. 822 00:53:36,460 --> 00:53:39,770 It was a joke. It wasn't very funny. 823 00:53:39,860 --> 00:53:42,533 Oh. I get it. 824 00:53:44,900 --> 00:53:47,016 Oh, Jimmy... 825 00:54:06,460 --> 00:54:09,770 - Hi, Mr. Jimmy! - Hello, Sam. The boss gone yet? 826 00:54:09,860 --> 00:54:13,011 No, he's still in there conniving on something. 827 00:54:13,100 --> 00:54:17,651 - Tell him in the morning. - I was glad to hear about your good luck. 828 00:54:17,740 --> 00:54:20,937 - Do you need a valet? - No thanks, Sam. 829 00:54:21,020 --> 00:54:25,377 Well, sir, I guess you is right - pride rides before a fall. 830 00:54:25,460 --> 00:54:29,533 But not everybody hits the jackpot while they is young and all. 831 00:54:29,620 --> 00:54:32,134 You said it. 832 00:54:32,220 --> 00:54:35,053 Look. Hello, pussy. 833 00:54:35,140 --> 00:54:38,337 Is it good luck when a black cat crosses your path? 834 00:54:38,420 --> 00:54:41,332 That all depends on what happens afterwards. 835 00:54:41,420 --> 00:54:43,376 You said it. 836 00:54:43,460 --> 00:54:45,894 Sure don't happen to everybody, sir! 837 00:54:51,420 --> 00:54:54,014 - Yes, sir. - Look. 838 00:54:54,820 --> 00:54:56,731 Good evening. 839 00:55:05,220 --> 00:55:07,495 - Pretty snazzy, eh? - Yeah. 840 00:55:07,580 --> 00:55:08,933 Lovely. 841 00:55:09,020 --> 00:55:10,772 Thank you. 842 00:55:10,860 --> 00:55:12,851 - Be careful. - We will. 843 00:55:47,100 --> 00:55:50,456 It was gonna be nice, wasn't it? 844 00:55:52,420 --> 00:55:56,652 Stop it, honey. Come on, now, cut it out. Come on. 845 00:56:05,860 --> 00:56:07,657 Come in. 846 00:56:08,540 --> 00:56:11,816 - I hope I'm not intruding? - No, sir, I was just coming to see you. 847 00:56:11,900 --> 00:56:13,970 We stopped to look at the office... 848 00:56:14,060 --> 00:56:16,415 - So I see. I hope you like it. - It's beautiful. 849 00:56:16,500 --> 00:56:20,778 It isn't every young man who gets his own office and a private secretary at your age. 850 00:56:20,860 --> 00:56:24,409 With many of them I'd be afraid it would go to their heads 851 00:56:24,500 --> 00:56:27,970 - but you have your feet on the ground. - Thank you, sir. 852 00:56:28,060 --> 00:56:33,339 I mean it sincerely. Mr. Jenkins and I discussed our little meeting after you left 853 00:56:33,420 --> 00:56:37,891 and I want you to know that we were genuinely impressed - genuinely so. 854 00:56:37,980 --> 00:56:41,973 - That's nice to hear... - The more we thought about your ideas 855 00:56:42,060 --> 00:56:47,088 the more aware we became of their pungency, their brevity, their crispness. 856 00:56:47,180 --> 00:56:51,412 - Thank you, sir, it's... - You have a genuine talent for slogans. 857 00:56:51,500 --> 00:56:53,968 It must be like having an ear for music. 858 00:56:54,060 --> 00:56:58,338 Take me, I sing flat. You, on the other hand, are a born sloganeer. 859 00:56:58,420 --> 00:57:01,776 "It's bred in the bean. " Hot ziggety! 860 00:57:01,860 --> 00:57:07,810 Well, it's certainly wonderful to hear, Mr. Baxter. You've made me feel a lot better. 861 00:57:07,900 --> 00:57:11,051 They're still the same ideas, aren't they? 862 00:57:11,140 --> 00:57:15,736 If they were good this afternoon they're still good. They're the same. 863 00:57:15,820 --> 00:57:17,936 - Of course they are. - Of course they are. 864 00:57:18,020 --> 00:57:23,777 - I'm not quite sure I have your thought. - You still think they're good, don't you? 865 00:57:23,860 --> 00:57:26,249 Well, of course I do. Why? 866 00:57:26,340 --> 00:57:31,209 Since they were good and they're still good they have to be good. 867 00:57:31,300 --> 00:57:36,852 And then it wouldn't make any difference if I hadn't won the Maxford House contest. 868 00:57:36,940 --> 00:57:39,056 - Would it? - Of course it would. 869 00:57:39,140 --> 00:57:41,654 - Oh, it would. - Certainly it would. 870 00:57:41,740 --> 00:57:43,810 - Why? - I'm no genius, 871 00:57:43,900 --> 00:57:47,688 I didn't keep my father's money by backing my own judgment. 872 00:57:47,780 --> 00:57:52,934 I make mistakes every day - I've got a whole warehouse full of mistakes. 873 00:57:53,020 --> 00:57:55,853 I should say it would make a difference. 874 00:57:55,940 --> 00:58:00,218 You see, I think your ideas are good because they sound good to me 875 00:58:00,300 --> 00:58:06,011 but I know your ideas are good because you won this contest over millions of aspirants. 876 00:58:06,100 --> 00:58:09,410 - But Mr. Baxter... - Call it commercial insurance. 877 00:58:09,500 --> 00:58:12,890 When a horse wins the derby you back him for the breaker. 878 00:58:12,980 --> 00:58:15,096 - I didn't win it. - The breaker? 879 00:58:15,180 --> 00:58:17,330 The contest. It was a joke. 880 00:58:18,140 --> 00:58:20,938 - A joke? - That's what they meant it to be. 881 00:58:21,020 --> 00:58:23,136 - Who did? - Some of the fellas. 882 00:58:23,220 --> 00:58:26,530 They wanted to see how I'd look when I got the news. 883 00:58:26,620 --> 00:58:30,693 Tell me their names and we'll see how they look when I give them some news! 884 00:58:30,780 --> 00:58:34,329 I wouldn't care to do that, I... Oh, it doesn't matter. 885 00:58:34,420 --> 00:58:36,331 It doesn't matter? 886 00:58:36,420 --> 00:58:40,618 After I spent a whole afternoon listening to a lot of... baloney? 887 00:58:40,700 --> 00:58:45,649 Entirely predicated on the winning of this contest? And giving you this office? 888 00:58:45,740 --> 00:58:49,699 - But what about my slogan? - I don't know, what about it? 889 00:58:49,780 --> 00:58:53,409 We'll find that out! There'll be plenty of time for that. 890 00:58:53,500 --> 00:58:59,177 But I won't made a fool of. I can't go around giving out private offices and secretaries 891 00:58:59,260 --> 00:59:03,811 on the strength of a prank that personally I consider far from funny! 892 00:59:03,900 --> 00:59:06,050 - Yes, sir. - Yes, sir. 893 00:59:06,140 --> 00:59:10,930 It's gonna be hard to face that gang tomorrow if I'm back at that desk. 894 00:59:11,020 --> 00:59:16,492 It would be just as hard to face them from in here if you didn't belong here. 895 00:59:16,580 --> 00:59:20,175 - He does belong in here. - What is the joke this time? 896 00:59:20,260 --> 00:59:23,252 He belongs in here because he thinks he does. 897 00:59:23,340 --> 00:59:26,810 That's very high-falutin' but from a practical... 898 00:59:26,900 --> 00:59:31,257 It is practical, Mr. Baxter. The most practical idea you ever had. 899 00:59:31,340 --> 00:59:34,650 He belongs in here because he thinks he has ideas. 900 00:59:34,740 --> 00:59:38,130 He belongs in here until he proves himself or fails 901 00:59:38,220 --> 00:59:41,929 and then somebody else until he proves himself or fails 902 00:59:42,020 --> 00:59:44,170 and so on and so on for always. 903 00:59:45,060 --> 00:59:49,019 I don't know how to put it into words like Jimmy could but... 904 00:59:49,100 --> 00:59:53,651 all he wants, all any of them want, is a... is a chance to show... 905 00:59:53,740 --> 00:59:57,210 To find out what they've got while they're still young 906 00:59:57,300 --> 01:00:01,213 and... and burning like a short cut or a stepping stone. 907 01:00:03,020 --> 01:00:07,172 I know they're not gonna succeed, at least most of them aren't. 908 01:00:07,260 --> 01:00:10,536 Most of them will be like Mr. Waterbury soon enough. 909 01:00:10,620 --> 01:00:15,375 But they won't mind it, they'll be happy because they had their chance. 910 01:00:15,460 --> 01:00:19,453 Because it's one thing to muff a chance when you get it but... 911 01:00:19,540 --> 01:00:22,612 it's another thing never to have had a chance. 912 01:00:24,540 --> 01:00:26,849 And his name's already on the door. 913 01:00:28,580 --> 01:00:32,414 Well, if anything decided me that would be it. 914 01:00:32,500 --> 01:00:35,333 - Oh, Mr. Baxter... - You've talked enough. 915 01:00:35,420 --> 01:00:40,175 The desks have already been moved and the name is painted on, as you said. 916 01:00:40,260 --> 01:00:44,856 So we'll try it for a very short time, at no advance in salary, you understand. 917 01:00:44,940 --> 01:00:47,056 - Yes, sir. - And for a very short time. 918 01:00:47,140 --> 01:00:51,179 - Yes, sir. - This is a business, not a cultural project. 919 01:00:51,260 --> 01:00:55,378 - You'll never be sorry. - I'm sorry already, so let it go at that. 920 01:00:55,460 --> 01:00:58,452 Good night and try to be on time in the morning. 921 01:00:59,740 --> 01:01:01,970 Oh... pshaw! 922 01:01:04,460 --> 01:01:07,896 - Isn't it wonderful? - You were wonderful. 923 01:01:07,980 --> 01:01:11,734 - But I'm a bit leery about me. - Don't talk like a fathead. 924 01:01:11,820 --> 01:01:16,371 This is the chance of a lifetime and you know you've got what it takes. 925 01:01:16,460 --> 01:01:20,578 I didn't until I got that telegram and now I don't know any more. 926 01:01:20,660 --> 01:01:23,572 I'm like Mr. Baxter, that's why I didn't speak. 927 01:01:23,660 --> 01:01:27,096 Well, it brought us together and that's something. 928 01:01:27,180 --> 01:01:31,458 I got the ring to prove it, and you can't back out now or I'd sue you. 929 01:01:34,300 --> 01:01:36,450 Oh, you poor kid. 930 01:01:38,780 --> 01:01:41,817 You'll see we have plenty to be thankful for. 931 01:01:45,500 --> 01:01:47,456 Sure. 932 01:01:54,740 --> 01:01:58,096 - There's that cat again. - Hello. 933 01:02:12,260 --> 01:02:14,455 - Good night! - Good night, Sam. 934 01:02:35,220 --> 01:02:37,370 Look. Yeah. 935 01:02:37,460 --> 01:02:41,931 - Sure looked funny this afternoon. - Ah, the old buzzard. 936 01:02:42,020 --> 01:02:45,330 - Were you to a fish fry, Dr. Maxford? - No, I wasn't. 937 01:02:45,420 --> 01:02:48,935 - Smells like a seven-course banquet. - I wasn't to a banquet! 938 01:02:49,020 --> 01:02:51,295 - Dr. Maxford! - What do you want? 939 01:02:51,380 --> 01:02:55,817 I got some good news. It took some doing but I won those clerks over. 940 01:02:55,900 --> 01:02:59,859 The way I feel, Bildocker, it just doesn't matter any more. 941 01:02:59,940 --> 01:03:03,137 This is the stupidest, the most asinine...! 942 01:03:03,220 --> 01:03:06,929 - Listen to the slogan! - I don't wish to hear the slogan! 943 01:03:07,020 --> 01:03:09,739 I don't wish to hear any more about the whole mess! 944 01:03:09,820 --> 01:03:13,529 Pick your winner, send him a cheque and tell him to go... 945 01:03:13,620 --> 01:03:16,896 Listen to this, will ya? Is this good! 946 01:03:16,980 --> 01:03:21,895 "If you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk. " 947 01:03:21,980 --> 01:03:25,814 Is that a slogan? It's what you call a pun. Believe me, it's some pun! 948 01:03:25,900 --> 01:03:29,256 We just sent the winner a telegram, a guy called James MacDon... 949 01:03:39,257 --> 01:03:42,057 Ripped by: SkyFury